


Let's Pretend

by ruflylover



Category: Lost in Space (TV 2018)
Genre: Married Couple, Sleepy Cuddles, the cutest space parents ever
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:28:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22142563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruflylover/pseuds/ruflylover
Summary: The seven months The Robinson's spent on the water planet between season 1 & 2.
Relationships: John Robinson/Maureen Robinson
Comments: 35
Kudos: 70





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have not written fan fiction in MONTHS so I apologize if this is...I don't know, sub-par I guess. For some reason, I struggled with tenses? Which has never been a problem for me before. Not sure what's wrong with me. Hopefully my mistakes aren't too terribly distracting.

Month 1: Well, day 33 to be exact. 

Maureen marked a dash down on her handmade calendar and set it down on the bedside table.

“We forgot to celebrate our month anniversary,” Maureen murmured before shutting the light off from her side of the bed. 

The light flicked back on. 

“What are you talking about?” John asked, turning towards her, shuffling the carefully laid comforter. Maureen laughed in response, curling herself around his body under the covers. She strategically slipped on leg between his, warming herself up. 

“We have been on this planet for 33 days,” she clarified. 

“Ohhh,” John chuckled, pulling her closer to him, “has it really been that long?” 

She looks up, her chin resting on his chest.

“Are you kidding? It feels like an eternity. I’ve spent so much time trying to figure out a safe way out of here for us and it’s driving me crazy that I can’t come up with anything.”

Maureen tries to sit up again, suddenly very agitated. Sleeping isn't her strong suit. Relaxing isn't her strong suit. John pulls her back down by her wrist, wrapping his strong arms around her small frame. 

“John!” Maureen complained. But she was still smiling. He kissed her fully on the lips, savoring every moment. 

“I don’t think it’s that bad here. We’re safe for now. We can finally relax and breathe-”

\- “well we can’t  _ really _ breathe,” Maureen argued, still smiling, she kept glancing down at his lips. Irresistible. For the past thirty-three days, it had been difficult for Maureen to keep from touching her husband. It had just been so long. “I hate getting those stupid suits on just so that we can go outside.”   
“I don’t think they’re so bad…”   
“Okay, Mr. Positive, think about it this way. If we didn’t have to wear those suits all the time, I could do this…” she slid her hand across his chest slowly, “and you would feel it...or I could do this…” she slid her hand further down to rest on his pubic bone, “and you could feel that.”

“Oh…”

“Right. You can’t feel that through  neoprene-coated nylon and five layers of aluminized mylar , can you?”

“I love when you talk like that,” John murmured. 

Maureen smiled. It was so easy to mess with him. “And if I did this,” she moved one leg over his torso so that she was straddling him, “I would feel…” she ground against him once and it was all it took, “I would feel  _ that _ ,” she finished with a sigh. 

John went to grab her hips but she was off him and laying on her side in a flash. He looked at her, mouth open in protest. “But-”

“But it’s a shame...because we have to wear those suits all the time.” She crosses her arms and smirks. 

“Ok, well that’s not necessarily true, you wouldn’t do those things to me outside even if we could breathe the air,” John pouts. 

Mauren raises her eyebrows. “So what would you call the scenario on the edge of the tar pit then?”

John shivered at the memory. “I would call that similar to what we’ve been doing every day for the past thirty-three days except for now we get to do it from the comfort of our bed.”

“Oh you’re no fun,” Maureen pouted, “you used to be so...wild,” she recalled with a mischievous grin. 

“You mean until we had three children who were mere feet away from us at all times,” John whispered. He pulled Maureen’s hip into him, forcing her groin up against his thigh, causing her to squeal. He covered her mouth, “Yeah, babe, we can’t make noises like that,” he joked. “But you make it so hard,” Maureen moaned, opening her top leg to drape it over his body. He took a moment to drink her in. 

“God, you are so beautiful…” 

He held her close, his gaze moving from her eyes across her freckled cheeks. He followed the freckles down to her neck, her chest. She smiled up at him.

“Can I ask you a favor?”

“Depends,” Maureen answered, saucily. His eyes get serious for a moment so she matches his tone. 

“I just want you to give the whole trying-to-hatch-an-escape plan a rest...I just want you to be present with me. With our family. I just want to be able to hold you at night and not constantly be waiting for the next shoe to drop. Let’s pretend for a second we live a normal life. Let’s figure out how we can sustain ourselves here...just for the time being…”   
Maureen looked hesitant, so he added, “I just don’t want to give this up yet.”

He moved her so that he was hovering just inches from her. He lowered his lower body to rest on top of hers, “Please, Maureen…”   
She feels him everywhere. “OK.” she whispers. 


	2. Day 62

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lightning strikes again!

Day #62

“It’s funny, I thought the saying goes that lightning never strikes the same place twice...”   
  
This was the third lightning storm the Robinson’s had experienced on this strange water planet. The last one had been twenty-three days prior and the first one, twenty-three days before that. A pattern was emerging. Maureen’s wheels started spinning. And John could see that. They were safe for the time being. It felt so good. He had convinced his wife to back off trying to figure out a way  _ back into danger _ and from what he could tell, she’d actually momentarily been convinced. But deep down, he knew Maureen was never going to settle here. She had a one-track mind and her  _ one-track _ was their children and creating a better life for them. This was not what she'd envisioned, clearly. John loved his children just as much, but safety was just a little higher on the totem pole for him. And life on this planet was as safe as they had been in months. 

“Lighting _does_ strike in the same place...often,” Maureen was mumbling now. 

“Hmm then I wonder why they say that,” John chuckled, edging towards his wife. She was unpackaging some meals for dinner, but he could tell her mind was elsewhere as her gaze drifted to The Jupiter’s main window. From there, they could see the storm. And John had to admit, it was beautiful. 

“There’s a place in Venezuela actually where the Catatumbo River empties into Lake Maracaibo that is struck by lighting in the exact place 10 hours a night for 260 days out of the year…”

“Woah,” John breathed, trying to imagine it.

Maureen set down the foil wrapped beef dish, “Yeah, woah,” she smiled. Her eyes lingered on John. They shifted across the worry lines etched in his forehead. She sighed and turned back to the beef. She wished that she could take away his anxiety. 

John moved his lips into a straight line. He hated when she sighed like that. He wished that he could settle her nerves. 

He would always try...

He reached for her waist. He pulled her body into his, wrapping his arms tight around her, hoping to melt away her fear, to ease the constantly turning wheels of her mind. 

“John,” she murmured in protest, “I’m trying to make dinner.” 

But she didn’t try to wiggle free, instead she relaxed into his rock solid frame and let him take her weight. He kissed at her neck. The lighting continued to put on it’s spectacular show. 

“It’s romantic, you have to agree,” he whispered into her ear. She smiled and moved her head to the side, silently giving John permission to continue his ministrations. 

“It’s powerful,” Maureen clarified, “5 billion joules of energy in each bolt to be exact.”

He nibbled at the skin on the crook of her neck just above her collar bone, leaving a mark. He was trying to distract her from the obvious calculations she was trying to do. It seemed to do the trick...she made a sound of approval so he ran his tongue over the mark he had made. 

“I love it when you talk science to me,” he laughed. 

“Oh stop, I’m just... _ thinking… _ ”

John sighed, “You’re always thinking...sometime you should try...just  _ doing _ , just  _ being _ , you know?” 

He swayed with her, playfully. She wiggled her hips against his and then turned in his arms to face him. 

She put a finger on his chest and stared at it for a moment. Her blue eyes flickered up to meet his. 

“I really love that you balance me out, John Robinson,” she said finally. 

John smiled, teeth and all. He was always so pleasantly surprised when she complimented him. “Well, I really love that crazy brain of yours... _ Maureen  _ Robinson.”

She giggled. “Is that all you love Mr. Robinson?” 

Maureen wrapped her arms around his neck, lifting herself onto her tippy-toes and pressing the entire weight of her body against his muscular chest. 

“Oh no,” John choked out right away, “It most certainly is not the only thing I love,” he grinned. He couldn’t help himself. He lifted her off her feet and she instinctively wrapped her legs around him. 

“John,” she said harshly, “the kids could come in at any moment.”

So her words were saying no, but her tone and her body were saying otherwise. John set her down on the small counter space. Her legs remained around him, crossed at the ankles. She pressed her heels into his backside and so he leaned further into her, pushing his palms onto the cold surface of the countertop.

“What? We aren’t doing anything wrong,” John reasoned with a mischievous smile. 

Maureen captured his earlobe between her front teeth and felt her husband’s body change. “Hmm...we could easily be doing something very, very wrong,” she maintained. 

“I don’t know,” John argued, “How can something this right be wrong? We’re just two people- two  _ parents _ ,” he clarified, “who are in love. What’s wrong with that?”

Maureen’s fingers found John’s hair and they combed through it with a mind of their own. Her kryptonite. She kissed him.

“You’re a difficult man to say no to, John…” She leaned in to kiss him again but a voice that was not her husband’s shot through the room and stopped her.

-“You know, he  _ is _ ...but let’s try harder, Robinson’s, for my sake...for my  _ sanity _ ,” came Don’s sarcasm, sharp as a dart hurling at the couple, causing John to jump away and Maureen to slip shamefully from the counter. 

“Sorry ‘bout that, Don,” John blushed, his hand finding the back of his head. 

Don clucked and shoved his hands in his pockets, “You know, I’m sure it just comes from a place of jealousy, but also... _ right by the beef, really? _ Come on guys!” 

Maureen turned a bright shade of red and smiled awkwardly. “Dinner’s ready…?” she offered with a shrug. 

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit 'corny'

Day #81

“There’s an old farmer’s tale that says, “On a quiet night you can hear the corn grow.”

The stalks of corn were around 4 feet tall now and growing quite rapidly in the perfect habitat enclosure the Robinson’s had built. It felt good to have success in something that could possibly sustain the family in the near future. Maureen was grinning from ear to ear. John could see her pearly whites glowing as his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting of their lantern. 

“Well, it’s a pretty quiet night,” John muttered, “and I can’t hear them…”

John was crouching between the plants next to his wife, she’d pulled him out of the warm bed for this. If he didn’t know her better, he would have said she was going insane. 

“Shhh,” Maureen chided, “just listen.” 

John grunted childishly, “It’s kind of cold out here…”

“Babe _ , _ ” Maureen took his hand and squeezed, “ _ listen _ .” 

He tried. For her.

He really couldn’t hear anything. 

“Maureen, aren’t you chilly? You’re out here in that measly silk  _ thingy, _ ” John continued, referring to her thin nightgown. 

“It’s not cold, John,” Maureen said, a tinge of annoyance seeping through, “It’s a very humid planet...now can you just try for longer than a second to stay quiet?”

He stayed quiet....for three seconds.

But the only thing he could hear was Maureen’s shallow breathing in his ear. 

“So why did you bring that night dress thing anyway? I mean, I’m not complaining but it’s kind of impractical for space...right?” 

He turned to his wife who he could see, now that his eyes had adjusted, was furrowing her eyebrows at him. She huffed. 

“First of all, it’s called a nightgown. Secondly, I brought it because...I know  _ you like it _ and even though we weren’t really together at the time, I--” 

\-- “Mmm the tiny black lace one is my favorite…but yes, continue.”

Maureen glared, then grinned, “...I brought that one too,” she said gently. 

John’s eyes widened, “You did?”

“Yes, I was going to save it for your birthday,” she smiled, “I brought the _ impractical night thingies  _ for special occasions but I honestly forgot how comfortable they are so I think I’m going to wear them all the time…”

John grinned, “Yeah,  _ definitely _ not complaining.” His hand traveled up her bare leg. He leaned into her and gave her a lingering kiss, “Happy anniversary, hon, I’m so thankful I still get to have these special occasions with you.”

Maureen kissed him back, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he replied, “even if your idea of romance is crouching in the corn at midnight.”

She laughed, “Well, there’s something else too...the nightgowns weren’t the only things I brought in hopes of our reconciliation…” 

Maureen shifted in the dirt and stood, pulling John up with her. He held her by the waist as she tugged at a chain around her neck that dipped below the collar of her nightgown. She slipped the chain over her head and swung it between them like a pendulum. 

His jaw dropped as he realized what was dangling from the end of the chain. 

Her wedding band shimmered, catching the light of the lantern. 

“I brought my ring…” she said quietly. 

“I can see that,” John murmured, almost breathless. 

They were silent for a long time. The ring hanging between them. John actually thought he might have even heard the corn growing. He was about to say so--

“I only have mine though,” Maureen said sadly, “I actually don’t even know where yours is, I realized…” 

John couldn’t help but let out a little chuckle. Maureen looked at him, confused. 

“You know, babe...for an extremely intelligent woman...you sure aren’t too observant sometimes,” he laughed. 

He held up his left hand, his ring finger clad with silver. It caught the light and shone just like hers. Matching bands. 

“I’ve been wearing it all day, Maureen…” 

“You have?!”

John nodded, tears forming in his eyes. He took the chain that Maureen was holding, unclasped it and slid the ring off into his hand.    
His eyes met hers in the dim light. Maureen cocked her head to one side. She knew what was coming.

“Don’t you dare…” 

John grinned and took one knee in front of her. 

“John, come on, really?” 

She took his face in her hands, the face of a man she loved so much. 

“Maureen,” he started. She shuddered a ragged breath as he took her soft hands into his. “You are mesmerizing. I’ve loved you from the second I saw you and Jude in the grocery store trying to pick out the right avocado. I just wanted to talk to you immediately, you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen…I remember thinking,  _ please universe _ , just let me come up with perfect thing to say…” 

Maureen laughed loudly. She remembered exactly what he had said. 

“Well this is  _ guacward _ but you are all I  _ avo _ wanted,” the couple said simultaneously, laughing. 

“I know, it was _ pit _ -iful,” John joked again. 

Maureen grinned through her tears, “You are ridiculous, John Robinson,” she said, with all the love in her heart. 

He smiled. “And that’s exactly what you said to me. You said, ‘that’s the most ridiculous pick-up line I’ve ever heard’...and I was crushed…”

Maureen frowned, jutting her bottom lip out, “But” --

\-- “But I wasn’t discouraged. My next attempt was going to be to try and play my Hero Card.”

“Oh nooo, I forgot about this part,” Maureen laughed, throwing her arm over her eyes. 

“I picked up a dark avocado and I said, ‘if you want to know if it’s overripe, I know a good trick.’ And then you looked down at your baby girl and it was like you both just thought I was the most pathetic man on the planet. I’d never seen a baby roll her eyes but I’m pretty sure Judy did.” 

“Oh god,” Maureen laughed, “I still feel bad about this, let’s not revisit…”

John was not to be deterred. 

\--“Then you said, ‘listen, _buddy_.’  yes, you said  _ buddy _ , 'there’s not a single thing about avocados that you can tell me that I don’t already know. I grew up on a farm in California. So why don’t you just go and bother some other woman. I’m married.”

“Ohhh boy, did I really say it like that? I thought it was a slightly nicer dismissal--”

\-- “And so I turned the color of a tomato. And I said, ‘oh ma’am I didn’t realize. Please forgive me…you aren’t wearing a ring, but I shouldn’t have assumed.’ And then you shrugged and turned away from me.” 

“God, I’m horrible…I’m so sorry...” 

Maureen had pushed this particular memory from her mind. She knelt down and kissed John, who was still smiling. He loved this story and he hadn’t revisited it in quite some time. 

“No, looking back, I love it. I loved that fire you had...that you  _ have _ . I love that you never  _ needed _ me.”

“I  _ wanted _ you…”

“Well, even that took some convincing…”

“If I remember correctly, not too much convincing after that...on my way out of the grocery store, I was juggling all my groceries and Judy’s carrier and I dropped a bag...everything went everywhere…”

“An avocado rolled right up to my feet in the parking lot,” John finished, smiling. 

“You helped me pick everything up and without a word helped me to my car...”

John continued, “After everything was settled, you looked up at me and said--”

“I’m actually not married anymore,” they said in unison. 

John took Maureen’s left hand into his own. “And from then on...Maureen, you’ve guac-ed my world…”

Maureen snorted, “ _so ridiculous_ ,” she mumbled. 

“I know, I’m avo-control…”

“Oh my god,  _ seriously? _ ”

John grinned and gave her a sweet peck on her lips. 

“May I put this back on you, Mrs. Robinson?” 

“You may…” she teared up again as he slipped the ring into the groove it fit right onto. 

“Perfect fit,” he said. 

...And then they kissed and listened to the corn grow. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~And they lived happily avo after~
> 
> (sorry, I had to…)


	4. Day 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter certainly takes a turn, sorry... trigger warning.

Day #101

Waking up to the sound of Maureen’s shallow breathing and watching the gentle rise and fall of her body as she snoozed was one of John’s favorite things. He found it peaceful to play connect the dots with the freckles on her back, imagining constellations and shapes dancing across her skin. Sometimes he would use his finger to lightly trace an outline of them, other times he would use his lips. Either way, it would gently ease her from her slumber.

“Mmm, good morning,” she’d murmur without turning. Instead, she would slide her back into his, their bodies becoming one. He’d wrap his arm around her abdomen; he loved to rest his hand there, feeling the way she belly-breathed or feeling when she would quivver in reaction to whatever he was doing with the lips on the back of her neck. It had become their routine early on in their marriage and they had easily slid back into that routine on the water planet. They made sure that the way they started their day was always peaceful…

....At least when they could help it.

This morning was different and it started with John waking up to the sound of Maureen groaning in pain. He sat up quickly in bed, “Maureen, what’s going on?” He said into the dark.

“Go back to sleep, I’ll be fine,” she murmured through clenched teeth. John didn’t like that answer and he sure as hell wasn’t going back to sleep. He flicked the lamp on the bedside table and his eyes connected with hers immediately. Even in the dimly lit space, he could see she was as pale as the sheets. Her eyes were frantic and full of fear.

“Are you sick? What’s going on!” He asked, scooting towards her in bed. Maureen opened her mouth to respond but was seized by a horrible stabbing, cramping sensation in her abdomen. She clutched herself, doubling over in pain. 

John reached for her shoulder with one hand, his other supporting himself to hover near her. The hand on the bed met something damp and his pulse raced. He held his palm up and was met with the sight of exactly what he feared...blood. 

Maureen saw it too and grimaced. John threw the covers back and revealed a large, dark stain under Maureen’s body. 

“Are-are you-?” John shuddered, unable to get the words out. 

“-I think I’m having a miscarriage, John,” Maureen finished for him, her voice hardly above a whisper. 

An intense shiver rushed through John’s entire body, his limbs felt numb and his heart pounded in his chest, “I’m going to go get Judy,” he confirmed, trying to put on a brave front. 

“Don’t,” Maureen reached out to stop him, “It’ll pass, it’ll be fine.”   
“Maureen, don’t be ridiculous!”    
“No, I don’t want to involve her...please,” she squeaked, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes. 

“She’s a trained professional-”

“She’s our daughter. I’m not having our daughter see me like this…”

John shook his head, “We need help, Maureen. You could go into shock. We both know the risk of infection…”

Maureen looked at him, pain etched in every corner of her face. “Please…”

She was holding back her tears but John couldn’t any more. He wrapped his arms gently around her shoulders and cried into her hair. 

“Did you know?” he asked, through his tears, his voice tight. His throat was so damn tight. His head was spinning. He felt like he could vomit at any second. 

Maureen met his eyes, “I-I haven’t had my period since we’ve been here...I thought if anything...I was going through menopause... I didn’t know, I didn’t know...I really didn’t know,” she repeated several times, rocking herself back and forth. She was crying now, the pain had subsided slightly and she let out a small sigh of relief. 

John kissed the side of his wife’s head and held her face, “Let’s get you cleaned up, sweetheart,” he murmured. Maureen nodded and choked on her tears, her breathing ragged and forced. John climbed from the bed and was over to her side in seconds, scooping her into his arms. He carried her into their bathroom where he quietly stripped Maureen of her stained clothing. John made sure the shower was the perfect temperature and stepped, fully clothed, into the stream of water with her. He held up the weight of her body, she was limp against him. They both tried not to look at what swired down the drain as the shower ran. 

“It’s going to be okay, Maureen,” John soothed, “But we are going to have to tell Judy,” he said. And something about the way he said it, his voice strong yet coming out in broken parts, made Maureen nod numbly, unable to argue. 

“It’s going to be okay,” he said again, tracing the constellation of freckles on her shoulder, “it’s going to be okay.”

  
  



	5. Day 127

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maureen and John and the aftermath of the incident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With these last few chapters, I'm going to try and get back to the fluff. I derailed there for a bit but with the pandemic still in full swing, I need some Joreen happiness.

_ Day #26 post-incident. Day #127 on strange, miserable water planet.  _

Maureen marks the day off in the calendar, leans over, and tucks the little booklet back into the bedside table drawer. It takes just about all the energy she has to make this small action. But it feels necessary. It’s pretty much the only thing she’s been able to keep up with in her routine these past few weeks. 

John walks into the room as she’s about to curl back into bed. She sighs, throwing the blanket over her head. 

“We need to get out of here,” she mumbles from under the comforter. She feels John sit on the edge next to her, his weight pulling her slightly into him. He doesn’t say anything but he puts his hand where he thinks her back is. 

“Have you gotten checked out by Judy this morning yet?” He finally says after a long minute of silence.

Maureen shakes her head but John can’t see the movement so he removes the blanket from the top half of her. They make eye-contact. 

She huffs. “You know, it’s been more than three weeks. I’ve stopped bleeding. She doesn’t need to check me out every day. I’m fine. It’s over.”

“It doesn’t seem over…”

“Well it is.”

“We still haven’t really talked about it, Maureen...”

“What is there to talk about?” She asks, a clear edge to her voice. She removes the rest of the blanket from her body and practically flings herself out of bed. John sees her wince but doesn’t say anything. Reminding his wife of her short-comings was something he learned long ago to avoid. 

She continues to ramble, “We didn’t even know I was pregnant. There’s nothing to mourn. We can just go back to whatever we were doing before…” 

She’s getting undressed now. He can tell she’s still fatigued. Her movements are jerky because of her irritation but her breathing is shallow and she keeps pausing to catch her breath.

She keeps talking as she gets her day-clothes on, “We can go back to pretending that this whole make-shift life we have here is good enough. We can go back to depriving the  _ actual _ children we have of the actual life they deserve. Sound good to you, John?” 

She’s close enough to grab now, so John does. He pulls her gently by the wrist.

“Maureen, I just think you may be living in denial,” he says hesitantly, his eyes full of sympathy and love. 

“John,” she shakes her head, “You’ve been asking me to live in denial for months…”

John bites his lip and takes a deep breath and tries again, “What you went through was traumatic, it’s only natural to feel-”

\- “Don’t assign your feelings to me,” she interrupts. “What  _ you _ went through may have been traumatic and I’m really sorry for that, but I’ve been through it before…”

Her voice catches on that last line and John’s heart sinks. He pales, “...What do you mean?”

Maureen looks down, ashamed. “I’ve been through that before,” she repeats without looking up. She can’t bring herself to meet his gaze, “that’s how I knew what was happening right away…”

He shakes his head, “When?”

“Uhh-” she stutters, “It doesn’t matter, John.”

“ _ When _ ?” he says it harsher now. He’s standing now. 

She’s shrinking. 

“Right after that last time you left. The last time you were deployed...when you chose to-”

\- “Maureen…”

“It’s not a big deal. It happened. I got through it.”

She finally raises her eyes to meet his. They look broken. She can’t look for long. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

He steps towards her. She steps away. 

“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t know how…” She rubs her palms down her thighs, a nervous tick.

“You didn’t know  _ how _ ? We tell each other everything!” There’s a shake to his voice. She can tell he’s on the verge of tears and that hadn’t been her intention.

“John, we hadn’t been...you know that…” her tone softens. 

“But that’s big…I don’t understand why-”

-“I guess I just reasoned that it was for the best...meant to be, you know? We couldn’t bring another child onto that planet the way it was...and again, we can’t bring one onto  _ this _ planet. It’s like my body knows. It’s natural...nature. No point to dwell.” 

She turns to leave the room, but John stops her by grabbing her hand. 

“That may be nature, babe. But it’s still a loss. And it’s still a trauma…you have to take the time to grieve...” He takes her other hand in his and squeezes them both. 

She shakes her head. 

“Our family has dealt with traumas every day since we left earth, John. If we let every single one of them stop us in our tracks, we wouldn’t survive.”

“Maureen, please. If you won’t talk about it for  _ you _ , would you talk about it for me? I feel like I can’t process it unless we talk about it...”

Maureen sighs and sits back down on the bed. John joins her.

“I feel like if I talk about it...I’ll break. Like a damn exploding or something. I can’t do that to our kids. Our living,  _ breathing _ kids need me to be stable and sturdy for them…”

“Our kids need you to be a human. They need you to be honest. They know something is up with you. Penny and Will...they think you’ve been sick for three weeks. They’re worried, Maureen. You’ve hardly left this room.” 

Maureen lays down so she’s flat on the bed. She knew that she would have to have this conversation eventually with John...with her kids...but it was already proving to be harder than she’d imagined. 

“I just want to leave this planet, John,” she mutters in frustration. “I just want to get to Alpha Centauri. I didn’t want us to get comfortable here, and now look…”

John brings his palm to rest on her thigh.    
“I know you don’t want to be here. I know this isn’t ideal. But things happen. We’re at least safe here for the moment. And thank god because you still need time to recover, babe.”

Maureen huffs and throws her arm over her face, “I’m honestly fine.”

“You aren’t. Physically you aren’t. Mentally you aren’t, I can tell. I’m your husband.”

Maureen stares at the ceiling.  “You aren’t going to let this go, are you?”

She smirks just a bit, just enough to give him the signal that she's coming around.

John smiles and moves his body so that he is hovering just above hers, grinning. “No, I am not. Because I think _ I _ and our amazing kids can help you. I think we can all get through this together…I know they would be so supportive. It could help...”

Maureen frowns and squeezes her eyes shut. John kisses each eyelid and then her lips: “I. Love. You,” he says with each one. 

Maureen bites her lip and pulls him closer to her so that she can feel the warmth and weight of his body. It makes her feel safe, having him near. Like maybe she can get through this. And he’s right - their family is strong and they can get through this together. The Robinson’s can get through anything.

  
  



	6. Day 128

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maureen tries to get back to feeling normal with the help of her family

It’s morning again and Maureen has ventured into the kitchen before her family wakes up. It’s the first time in weeks she’s made it out of bed before anyone else. She feels different today, stronger maybe. Her conversation with John the previous morning had lightened her mental load. All she really needed had been a reminder that no matter what, her children would accept and love her. And so would John. 

John - her counterpart, the strong pillar holding their family together. Why did she sometimes find it so hard to share her shortcomings with him? Why was it so difficult to admit vulnerability? She’d come a long way since they were first married but it didn’t seem like it was as far as she thought. Her natural inclination was to hold her emotions inside but John seemed like he yearned to take them on as his own. He was offering to hold her up and all she wanted to do was crumple on her own. If she analyzed it further, she could see it was her own insecurity, one she’d had since childhood. 

It was slightly irrational, but she hoped that making breakfast for everyone this morning would show she was trying to take a step in the right direction. A tapping from the other side of the glass window in front of her pulls Maureen from her thoughts. She jumps.

She sighs, knowing exactly who it is. 

“What,” she barks, without hitting the button that would defrost the window. 

“Well don’t you want to see my face? I haven’t seen yours in weeks,” Dr. Smith’s voice jars her more than Maureen would care to admit.

“Not particularly,” Maureen mumbles. 

There’s silence for a moment and Maureen briefly wonders if her inhospitable tone of voice had dissuaded Dr. Smith. 

No such luck. 

“Come on, Maureen, let’s chat,” she says, her voice as smooth as butter. 

Maureen could read beyond it but decided to give her approximately 60 seconds of her time in hopes that would decrease her attempts at communication for the morning. All she wanted was peace and quiet and she told her just that. 

She defrosts the window, the bushy hair of Dr. Smith clouding her vision right away.  “Listen, you’ve got a minute to talk but other than that, I really just want a peaceful morning with my family, okay?”

Dr. Smith smiles sincerely. Well, as sincerely as that woman could get, Maureen ventures. 

“Alright, Maureen. I understand completely,” she pauses and then looks her up and down as if analyzing every cell, every atom of her entire being. She cocks her head to the side. 

“Actually, I don’t quite understand. I get the sense something bad happened to you, but I’m not sure what. You look different, too. There’s a hollowness in your face...what happened?”

Maureen’s heart stops. She thought she was ready to confront this emotion of loss but the issue being addressed directly confronted her in a way she wasn’t prepared. 

She clears her throat but words don't come. Dr. Smith furrowed her brows, the palm of her hand coming up to rest on the glass, “Come on, Maureen. I’m concerned…”

Maureen shakes her head and smiles, “You’re concerned? Right. And I’m Batman.” She almost laughs. 

“You’re right. At times you are a superhero. But guess what? You’re actually human, Maureen. And you’re allowed to be.”

Maureen’s breath gets caught in her throat. “You know what...the minute's up,” she manages through clenched teeth. She blurs the glass again, mutes the space too, and tries to catch her breath. 

“Hey,” another voice from behind her jars her yet again. She turns and sees John’s beautiful, sleepy face. “Oh, babe,” he laughs, “Sorry, did I startle you?” 

Maureen puts her cheek out to receive a kiss as he comes around to greet her, “Sorry, I’m a little jumpy today,” she admits. 

John pulls her into his chest and she dissolves, wrapping her arms instantly around him until they’re practically one body. His arms wrap around her too and he can’t help but let his hands wander up her back under her sleep shirt, drawing lazy patterns across her warm skin. 

“It’s good to see you up this morning,” he murmurs into her ear. She shivers, his voice doing things to her body she can’t control. He kisses the top of her head. “I missed you,” he adds for good measure just in case she doesn’t already know. 

Maureen looks up at him through hooded lids, she can’t help but lust after him. He smiles down at her and they just gaze at each other’s lips for a solid moment before Maureen whispers “Kiss me.” and they devour each other’s mouths hungrily. 

Cue the children at that exact moment, of course. Will’s voice breaks them apart.

“Ewww,” he laughs. “Wowww guys,” Penny’s voice follows. 

“Mom,” Judy greets her mother with a voice that says  _ I missed you.  _ Maureen chuckles and pulls her three children into a hug. 

“I’m sorry, guys,” she says into Penny’s hair. Penny looks up at her mom and tries not to cry.

“We were worried,” she admits. Will nods in agreement and Maureen pulls them into her tighter. She breaths in the smell of them. 

“I wasn’t ready to talk but I am now. I’m beyond sorry I let you guys get so worried.” 

John reaches for her hand and she grabs it eagerly, needing his strength. 

“It’s okay, mom. We can talk now,” Will assures her. _Her little, understanding angel_. She smiles lovingly at him. She smiles lovingly at all of them. They stare up at her with all the compassion in the world. Maureen glances at John in a way that communicates,  _ how on earth did we raise these perfect human beings _ ?

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter on the water planet!


End file.
